What Donald Trump could have said: A real Brooklyn speech

The bombastic Donald Trump deserves to be roundly criticized for using the Yiddish* epithet ‘schlang’ in referring to Hillary Clinton.  Criticized not for its vulgarity but because its use betrays Mr. Trump’s lack of knowledge of the Yiddish language, so rich in phrases that it begs to be used on the campaign trail.  If he had been brought up in Brooklyn instead of Queens, New York and had gone to Midwood or Abraham Lincoln High School instead of a reform school for rich brats, perhaps he might have been more colorful.Trump Fuehrer 2

For instance, Mr. Trumps could have said: “G’vald! Genug is genug! Do you want to hear this yenteh for the next eight years? Flanked by her tshatskeh Huma? With that parech Bill, an alter kacker chasing the interns? Vil tsu? Cholileh! Hey, Hillary, folg mich a gang un gai in drerd!  And who is she running against over there? An alter trombenick und a nudnik! Farshtunken!

And this mishmash they call Republican party debates? There’s me, a bulvan, and a plate of kreplachs. Can you believe it?  Me ken brechen!

Take this shmedlik Bush.  Kam vos er kricht! Hey, Jeb, when you wake up, kuck zich oys!

And that fresser Christie? Look at this fat shmeggegi. Er est vi noch a krenk! What a mamser!

And that pisher Rubio, this schlemiel wins the 2015 Toches-Lecker Award for trying to have it three ways on illegal immigration.

Carson, just another shnook.

And they say Cruz is my competition now?  Ich hob im in bod!

And Carly Fiorina?  Give me a break.  Or better yet, give her mirror a break. Shenereh laigt men in drerd!

A bunch of shleppers; what have any of them ever done? Look at me, look at my mitsveh! I’m the richtiger chaifets, I’m the schlanger here!”

But the Donald didn’t say any of this, because in the end he is just another fatuous fat mouth, becoming increasingly boring in his boorishness.  No, not a schlanger, just a groisser potz.

*The spelling of some Yiddish words (such as “schlang” and “potz”) have been changed from their popular, phonetic versions to the spellings of The Dictionary of Popular Yiddish Words, Phrases, and Proverbs, ed. Fred Kogos; MJF Books, Copyright Fred Kogos, 1967, 1995.

 

 

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